Illusions Shattered
by Cassandra Mulder
Summary: You can't always fix what's broken.


**Title: **Illusions Shattered  
**Author: **Cassandra Mulder  
**Rating: **PG  
**Feedback: **Oh, yes, please!  
**Classification:** _Veronica Mars_ ; Veronica/Logan; angst  
**Spoilers: **Everything through 1.22 "Leave it to Beaver" is fair game.  
**Disclaimer: **Rob Thomas rules! Rob Thomas owns all! In other words? So. Not. Mine.  
**Written: **June 22 - 23, 2005  
**Distribution: **Ask and ye shall (probably) receive.  
**Summary: **You can't always fix what's broken.  
**A/N: **I totally blame this on the following: summer, reruns, and a new Rob Thomas interview that, without mentioning _what's_ possibly spoilery in the article, was spoilery for season 2. Yes, it's a "who's behind the door" fic, and while I'm not usually a sheep, I had to do this. The plot bunnies bit me while watching a VM rerun tonight, and who am I to resist? Especially after the drought I just had. However, this is my first VM fic, and it's not all sweetness and light (but are _they_ ? Really.), so please be gentle. :)

* * *

The last person she had expected when she opened the door was also the only one she had wanted to see, but it was still hard to believe he was there. 

"Logan," she said, as he wobbled slightly. Veronica took his arm firmly and led him inside, quickly shutting the door behind him. She didn't know where he'd been, but it was quite clear he was drunk.

They got to the couch without incident, and Logan buried his face in his hands. Veronica didn't touch him, even though she wanted to. She could tell he was trying to gather himself, so she gave him his space.

Finally, he raised his head and looked her in the eye.

"Is it true?"

She didn't know how he knew, but she knew what he was asking. Wishing she could take the coward's way out and not have to be the one to tell him, she nodded her head anyway.

Veronica really didn't know what she had expected him to do, but the blank stare hadn't really come to mind.

"How did you find out?" He probably didn't want to fill her in, but she was dying to break the silence.

Logan blinked once, then ran both hands through his hair. "I, uh..." His voice was hoarse, so he coughed and tried again. "I was just about to off myself... You know, on the bridge my mother jumped off of? When Weevil and his boys showed up."

He paused, and she knew he probably couldn't believe the pain in her face. If he had - If something had happened, it would've been all her fault.

He went on. "I was about to kick _all_ of their asses, when, of course, the cops showed up. Apparently a motorcycle gang and a jumper requires police attention, even in Neptune," he smirked.

"How much did they tell you, Logan?" she asked softly.

"Enough."

"Logan."

"Just that my... _father_ ..." he spat the word out, "was arrested in connection with the murder of Lilly Kane." He seemed to let that sink in. "Not to mention the attempted murder and assault of Veronica and Keith Mars, respectively."

"You're sobering up." She sighed after she said it, because she didn't mean to be so flip. Not now. She really had no right to be.

"Wouldn't you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be. My life may be shot to hell, but at least it wasn't me," he said with an exaggerated shrug. Becoming serious, he said, "You better tell me the rest."

The very words she didn't want to hear. No one ever knew how Logan would react. It wasn't that she was afraid for herself, she had never been more certain that he wouldn't hurt her. Crashing her apartment on the other hand...

"Do you promise not to break anything?"

"If I did, I'd pay for it. Start talking, Veronica."

She took a deep breath and told him everything. Lilly's affair with Aaron, the poolhouse cameras, the videotapes, the blackmail attempt that had gotten Lilly killed, all the way through everything Veronica had experienced that night.

When it was over, it was nearly five a.m., and unsurprisingly Logan looked worse than he had when he'd shown up at her door.

He somehow knew where her bathroom was, and he ran there so fast that she was just getting up off the couch when she heard the retching begin.

She stood outside the door, praying for him to stop. When silence finally reigned, she knocked softly. "Logan, are you okay?"

No answer.

"I'm coming in."

She found him on the floor, slumped against the bathtub, his knees drawn up, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Without another word, Veronica grabbed a washcloth from the small cabinet above the toilet, and soaked it in cold water.

She kneeled beside him, and gently pulled his head up. He was crying, though she couldn't imagine how he had mustered the energy for even that after the night he'd had.

Logan let her wipe his face with the cool cloth, and she almost started crying herself. She still couldn't understand why he was with her after what she'd done. Maybe he'd understood what she'd had to do, and maybe he hadn't. But she was still sad for him if a girl that had betrayed him less than twenty-four hours earlier was the only person he had to trust.

She _was_ sad for him, because she knew it was true.

When the sun came up and reality really set in, he wouldn't have anyone. She would be there for him, but she doubted he'd let her. She had accused him of the unthinkable. She had brought Lilly's real killer to justice, and that killer happened to be his father. It would probably be a miracle if he'd look at her when he finally came to his senses.

"I hate him," he finally said so quietly she almost missed it.

"I know."

"I hate _her_ ."

Veronica sighed and collapsed next to him. "I know, Logan. And you have every right to." She hated Lilly a little right now, too. Logan had never been, and never would be, perfect, but he'd loved Lilly. She'd known that, and she hadn't hesitated to use it against him. Or forget it altogether, apparently.

She slowly wrapped her arms around Logan, afraid that he wouldn't accept her, and relieved when he buried his face in her neck. The hot tears against her skin finally set her off, and they sat huddled together on her bathroom floor, sobbing.

Everything in their world was wrong, and neither of them knew how to make it right. Maybe what they had thought was right before had just been an illusion. In a way, that was all Lilly had really been. Everyone had pictured her as this glorious creature, beautiful and daring, but ultimately harmless.

Not anymore. That illusion was completely shattered, and the shards only left them both bleeding.

Finis


End file.
